Transcript of Lieberman Reconciliation

From the AP:

One senator, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the meeting was private, said Lieberman spoke openly about the rejection he faced in 2006, when many Democrats supported his opponent during the Connecticut Senate race.

“He spoke earnestly of the pain he felt when he was rejected by the Democratic Party in his re-election and in turn, the rejection he felt from many in the caucus who campaigned against him after decades and decades of friendship,” the lawmaker said. “And that put him in a very different place approaching the 2008 election and John McCain was the only candidate for president who asked for his support.”

The senator added: “He apologized for crossing the line in a few instances.”

That’s really touching. If only they had recorded the secret proceedings, we could all witness the true spirit of harmony and forgiveness that will no doubt characterize our upcoming Congress. Sadly, all we have is the transcript:

Obama: Yeah, you’re cool to hide here. But first, me and him gotta straighten some shit out.

Lieberman: Fine.

O: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?

L: Why you been acting so messed up towards me?

O: Well, you go first.

L: I don’t know. Maybe I felt a little threatened or something… ’cause your career is kind of just blossoming… and mine’s kind of winding down… or whatever.

O: And I felt like, “This guy’s really hurting me”… and it hurt.

L: And I felt like when you told me to “lieber-lick” my balls… that really hurt.

O: Maybe I was scared, man. You’re Joe Lieberman! Yeah, you’re Joe Lieberman.
You know what it’s like to be another senator in Lieberman’s shadow?
You want to hear something crazy? Your work… in the 2000 presidential campaign… made me want to be a President. I freakin’ worship you, man.

L: I’m sorry I was whack.

O: I was whack.

L: I was whack.

It remains to be seen if Lieberman will use his revived political capital to find out whether there’s more to life than being really, really, ridiculously jack-assed.

  • M.Uila

    I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!

  • Jimmy

    O: Well you never did act to oversee Bush, so you sure as hell not be looking over anything I do.

    L: Of course, we need to give the commander in cheif full leeway in a time of war.

    O: About that war thing, how about just Afghanistan?

    L: Isreal is looking for more muscle flexing…could we at least swing a few bombing raids somewhere closer to our allies.

    O: come on man.

    L: I will bring out the oversight.

  • M.Uila

    Which scene from Zoolander are you spoofing there? Is that when they’re discussing the orgy in the kitchen? Things got a little crazy, didn’t they? Because there was a moment, when Lieberman was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesman, where I thought, “Wow, they’re really gonna keep him in the caucus…”

  • M.Uila

    Do you like the new rotating-quote policy?

  • Jimmy

    Dude. Rotating quotes are AWESOME. I was just going to ask- Can we integrate all these as well?

    “Be the change you want to see in the world.”
    -Gandhi

    “To overcome evil with good is good, to resist evil by evil is evil.”
    -Mohammed

    “If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.”
    -Buddha

    “Hypocrisy and distortion are passing currents under the name of religion”
    -Gandhi

    “The ink of a scholar is more sacred
    than the blood of the martyr.”
    -Mohammed

    “Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.”
    -Buddha

  • Pinky

    Muila give us a chance to guess before you give away the answer. I was so going to call Zoolander but didn’t get around to checking the blog until after work. Did Obama ask Lieberman to derelict his balls in the exchange?

  • M.Uila

    It’s right there in the transcript!

  • Pinky

    Where is my ritalin?