I wanna git mo terrorists

The Right’s reaction to closing gitmo is an absolute bonanza of hypocrisy. As you’ll recall from the Bush Legacee Tour: Revisin’ and Hypnotisin’, (which made the first part of January 2009 such a joy to behold), W was very disappointed that other countries were not stepping up and taking the gitmo prisoners off our hands after we detained them for four or five years and told them to stick their Geneva Convention in their Habeus Corpus. (now that we have elected a real leader, things have definitely changed).

Now that we are finally shutting down what will forever be one of the blackest marks in US history, we are subjected to the following incessant boob-ery:

Yes Sean, I too am so scared, the mere thought of this guy being held in a maximum security prison anywhere within 3000 miles of my front door makes me pee my pants. Guantanamo Bay, however, is located on another planet, and since Bin Laden doesn’t train astronauts, I feel very safe right now. Al Qaeda also doesn’t train people how to make rafts that could get from Cuba to Florida, so anywhere outside the continental US will do.

I really hope Obama wises up and realizes that the only way to combat terrorism is to follow the GOP’s example:

1. arrest as many people as possible, sometimes at random
2. if the Red Cross asks, take them on a tour of the cafeteria and weight room
3. avoid gathering evidence, especially anything that can be used in a court of law
4. secretly release more than 1/2 of them, the ones you’re pretty sure didn’t do anything
5. base the safety of our citizens (and the world’s) on the notion that you’ll be able to create your own new system of justice that will ‘totally work, dude’
6. if anything goes wrong, remember that regardless of how reckless and un-imaginably stupid your plan was, what are they going to do now, release them?

Like we saw on Professor Hannity’s show, the dude rented apartments on the coast of Yemen! What more proof do you need? What do you want them to do, write this shit down on paper and submit it in a court of law?

Can we please return to a policy of black ops assassinations like a civilized superpower? Maybe we can embed Heraldo Rivera with the Green Berets to make sure we can watch on the teevee. How about a reality tv show of the detainees first month in a US prison? Survivor Season 15: Leavenworth!

  • M.Uila

    Madman knows how to push my buttons.

    Regarding the Bush Legacy tour… I thought I was going to lose my shit on a nightly basis. I am incapable of letting him leave graciously. I want him strung up by his underdeveloped testicles. Progressives need to keep up the pressure for investigations. People seem to forget, there’s nothing wrong with a witch hunt if it turns up actual witches. There’s been some criminal deviancy in the White House that would shame Richard Nixon.

    To get back to the subject, if Hannity is so sure we have the goods on these clowns, let’s have a real trial! The ones that really did that shit are more than happy to confess, they’re proud to be martyrs. As for the rest of the prisoners, most of these guys are so broken after 6 years of cruel and unusual treatment, their only real use to any terrorists once they’re “back on the street” would be purely symbolic (i.e. witness the inhumanity of the Great Satan). And it’s a little late to put that genie back in the bottle.

    For every one of Hannity’s Gitmo supervillains, there is someone like this guy…

    In December, 2003, when he was (at most) 18 years old, Jawad — according to Guantanamo prison logs — attempted to kill himself. In 2004, he was subjected to the so-called “frequent flier” program, where, in a two-week period alone, he was moved to a new cell 112 times — an average of every 3 hours, in order to ensure he was sleep deprived and disoriented. Over the six years at Guantanamo, Jawad was repeatedly subjected to extreme cold, bright lights, and various stress positions. He was often kept in solitary confinement or in “linguistic confinement,” isolated from anyone who spoke his only language (Pashto). As recently as May of 2008, while Jawad was at Guantanamo, he was beaten so badly by guards that, weeks later, he still had extreme bruises on his arms, knees, shoulders, forehead and ribs.
    Suffice to say, Jawad’s chief prosecutor at Guantanamo — the Bronze-Star-recipient Lt. Col. Darrel Vandeveld, who since 9/11 has served in Iraq, Afghanistan, Bosnia and Africa — became so repelled by the treatment to which Jawad was subjected, by the fact that virutally all of the evidence against him was severely coerced, and by the fact that there is “no credible evidence” to justify his detention, that he first demanded that Jawad be released, then, when Bush officials refused, unsuccessfully demanded to be relieved of his duty to prosecute, and then finally resigned.

    I had a post a few weeks back in which I flippantly discussed the likelihood of Bush’s pardon recipients for the torture scandal, and cynically decided that nothing will ever come of it. I’d just like to say that I’m ashamed of being that cynical, and would love love LOVE to see these fuckers brought to account.

  • lookie lookie

    madman, that is what you call a home run. pun usage gives extra credit. between you and uila, we’re developing into a staff of allstar bloggers. here, here!

    i saw the missouri jackhole kit bond on hardball, and to him these gitmo guys are some sort of new breed of killer, clearly superhuman, and we just can’t take the risk of giving them a fair trial. it is too risky. if a single one of them were to lawyer their way out of a conviction they will surely go on a killing spree so vicious that is would make us all pee our pants.

    our very lives are at risk. but thanks to gitmo we are safe…for now.

  • Madman

    You are absolutely right Uila, we cannot under any circumstances let this crap go. The ideology espoused by Yoo, Cheney, and the scrunchy faced W (have you ever seen someone make facial gestures like that before?) MUST BE COMPLETELY CRUSHED…unequivocally rejected for sake of future generations. When people ask ‘what can be gained by looking backwards?’, here’s a few suggested responses:
    1. Our national pride
    2. The rule of law
    3. Three co-equal branches of government
    but other than that nothing really important

    Anyone else see a connection between Cornyn et al making a huge scene about Holder’s involvement in Clinton’s pardon, and Holder’s view on waterboarding? John doing the dirty work this round, knock him down a few pegs before the real fight begins…sit tight and follow the ‘tortured’ logic