Category Archives: sex

ATH 2-15-17 Matt Weiss Herbs work better than words

ATH 2-15-17 Matt Weiss herbs work better than words

I present Matt with his ATH theme song “Matt Weiss, the ebay guy”. The debate with Matt Weiss over whether herbs can work better than words in changing people’s hearts and minds was a clash of titans, and a jolly good time. I confess that I don’t worry about whether my song lyrics push Sam Seder’s buttons, because it’s more fun that way.

ATH PODCAST- Golden Showers with Carlos Danger

That’s right, two weeks and two podcasts!! How long can the staff at ATH podcast keep it up?? More support from the listeners may be all it needs to set this podcast on fire! Please donate and buy a Reefercake song if you can.

ATH PODCAST- Golden Showers with Carlos Danger

Restless Vagina Syndrome

Here’s a great article on the latest USA RULES! Health Care Debacle. Big Pharma is creating a new disease called Restless Vagina Syndrome. The “disease” is actually called female sexual dysfunction (FSD), and the pharmaceutical industry wants to help. Or is this going to be the next thing that men slip into women’s drinks?

And if I may interject what most old women probably think when their old husbands feel the need to artificially inflate their egos, so to speak…take it away Wanda!

Here is a totally opposite use of restless vagina syndrome…don’t slip this in the drinks….

UILA UPDATE:

This post deserves music… (can you guess what’s coming?)

Hopelessly impossible lightening strikes

Because we all need more romance in our lives…  Here’s a selection from the love letters of South Carolina’s governor laureate, Mark Sanford, to his Argentinian mistress:

Two, mutual feelings …. You have a particular grace and calm that I adore. You have a level of sophistication that so fitting with your beauty. I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificent gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curve of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of the night’s light – but hey, that would be going into sexual details …

Three and finally, while all the things above are all too true – at the same time we are in a hopelessly – or as you put it impossible – or how about combine and simply say hopelessly impossible situation of love. How in the world this lightening strike snuck up on us I am still not quite sure. As I have said to you before I certainly had a special feeling about you from the first time we met, but these feelings were contained and I genuinely enjoyed our special friendship and the comparing of all too many personal notes …

Lastly I also suspect I feel a little vulnerable because this is ground I have never certainly never covered before – so if you have pearls of wisdom on how we figure all this out please let me know… In the meantime please sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul.

That’s good stuff, I say!  Who says southern gentility is dead?

After his performance at the press conference today, I’m beginning to suspect Sanford is a political genius.  He just raised his national visibility in a huge way, he’s cornered the Clinton adultery vote (but in a way that demonstrates to women he’s not just in it for the punani), while simultaneously courting the Latin vote.  If “Maria” turns out to be a fox, all bets are off for the presidency in 2012.

P.S.  The local newspaper claims they had these emails since December.  While the more recently disgraced governors of New York and Illinois were brought down by simple wiretaps on the part of the Feds (curious that they just so happened to be monitoring the governors representing Clinton and Obama’s home states during an election year, eh?), there is no such thing as privileged communication these days.  One must assume that everything you say, write, or fart has already been heard, read, or sniffed by the prying ears, eyes, and noses of someone other than the intended recipient.  (And yes, I target my farts.)

The American Taliban

The American Taliban is at it again. They burnt down a topless coffee shop in a small town in Northern Maine.

They have been responsible for countless acts of violence in addition to the recent dramatic murder at a church ceremony. Interesting to go through the list of these acts of violence on wiki, and see how many occur in the U.S. compared to other countries.

I can only assume that there is something uniquely special about America’s ability to produce these sorts of terrorist groups. These groups openly proclaim their support of terrorist acts. Why? I guess the common thread between the burning of a topless coffee shop and the anti-choice crowd, is a deep seeded fear that some people out there may be enjoying sex. Somehow in America we have simultaneously developed the ability to develop a very slutty and sexually promiscuous and all around perverted group of folks, along with a group of folks who probably don’t even know how to operate the clitoris. And somewhere in the middle are folks like me, who could appreciate a topless coffee shop, and at the same time maintain a healthy and sex life with my wife…as long as I can stay out of the dog house…but I digress.

The point is these morons are scared shitless of people, especially women, enjoying sex, and they are usually the same freaks trying to get it on in the airport bathroom with some hot and heavy foot-tapping. I really hate these stupid hypocrites.

At least we can hope that their violent stupidity will backfire. All it took was a tent and a generator and the coffee shop is back up and running. I am looking into how to donate money to this coffee and titty operation. With coffee and titties, I believe we can change the world for the better.

Who are the people in your neighborhood?

This post goes out to Dick Vinegar, who complains that we don’t devote enough coverage to people of color. Also, because he is a man who appreciates this:

What started out as a penis extension turned into three extra testicles, butt implants, chest implants, and more alterations to his penis, including a spike through it fastened by two rings the size of silver dollars. 

Did I mention this guy is 67, retired from Baltimore’s City Planning Department, and on the verge of completing a full body tatoo which has been a lifetime in the making?

Hall believes once he finishes up a few more tattoo appointments (mostly to cover the rest of his hands and feet) he will be one of two fully tattooed people in the world, the other being New Zealand-born Lucky Diamond Rich. At the very least, Hall says, no one has just one tattoo–not a series of images, but one continuous design, which is asymmetrical to boot, he adds proudly. Thanks to the color and the swirling, bending nature of the design, Hall has redubbed himself “bluecomma.”

Wouldn’t you know it, there’s video… (warning, graphic!)

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“These Glutes are Made for Walkin'”

Now for something completely different. In keeping with the need for puns in titles, and as a follow-up on our teen sex discussion, DAMN, you should have seen my glutes in high school…. And the spelling of glutes…who cares!!?? By the way it just so happens I am on a quest to get my high school glutes back…I am on day two of the hoodia gordoni plan….I guess it is pretty gay for a man to talk about his glutes in such a way…perhaps this video can remediate the gayness.

“I Bring You Long Pig”

Here’s another late-breaking report: kids are still having sex!

Teenagers who pledge to remain virgins until marriage are just as likely to have premarital sex as those who do not promise abstinence and are significantly less likely to use condoms and other forms of birth control when they do, according to a study released today.

The new analysis of data from a large federal survey found that more than half of youths became sexually active before marriage regardless of whether they had taken a “virginity pledge,” but that the percentage who took precautions against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases was 10 points lower for pledgers than for non-pledgers.

Sad to say, to the people who run those programs, that’s called “works-as-designed”.  Having pre-marital sex?  You deserve to get pregnant/diseased.  I remember during the campaign, Obama made a statement about abortion to the effect that, he wouldn’t want his daughters to be “punished” with pregnancy for making a mistake.  Much like the “bitter/cling to their guns” remark, it was a politically awkward statement that had the advantage of being fundamentally true.

I can’t really say that I’m familiar with the virginity pledge, although it sounds like a close cousin to the truly disturbing father-daughter “purity balls”. Wikipedia says the evangelicals thought it up in 1993 and subsequently took it to the next level during the Bush administration, which allowed them to suckle on the teat of federally-funded abstinence-only education.  Nevermind that some of these programs took the opportunity of your tax dollars to birth some new Born-Again Christians.  I’m sure the bulk of these programs were legit, right, Henry Waxman?

The report finds that over 80% of the abstinence-only curricula, used by over two-thirds of SPRANS grantees in 2003, contain false, misleading, or distorted information about reproductive health. Specifically, the report finds:

  • Abstinence-Only Curricula Contain False Information about the Effectiveness of Contraceptives […]
  • Abstinence-Only Curricula Contain False Information about the Risks of Abortion […]
  • Abstinence-Only Curricula Blur Religion and Science […]
  • Abstinence-Only Curricula Treat Stereotypes about Girls and Boys as Scientific Fact […]
  • Abstinence-Only Curricula Contain Scientific Errors […]

Note that this government report was issued 4 years ago.  At the time, the report claimed that “the federal government will spend approximately $170 million on abstinence-only education programs in fiscal year 2005, more than twice the amount spent in fiscal year 2001.”  In other words, we have likely spent a BILLION dollars on… increasing the spread of venereal disease in this country. Heckuva job, prudies!

Here’s an idea… save that money, and instead show the kids the same Woody Woodpecker cartoon that taught me about sex way back when.  It can’t do any worse…

Whatever you do, don’t kiss the buzzard. Ha ha ha HA ha!