Category Archives: republican nipple-watch

The hypocrisy heard round the world

By Joseph Ballin 11/21/2017 4:45 AM EST

When I heard that Roy Moore was a rapist pedophile, I can’t say I was shocked. How many more (no pun intended) times do we have to hear about a Christian evangelical who wears his (and I do mean his) religion on his shoulder as a holy roller, only to be revealed to be a fraud? What I don’t get is why I haven’t heard the name Dennis Hastart brought up once during all this? Dennis Hastart was the LONGEST Republican Speaker of the House ever, period. And decades prior to that, revealed only after he left the speakership, that he had molested little boys as a football couch. Keep in mind as Speaker of the House, Dennis Hastart brought up and voted in favor of the 2004 and 2006 constitutional amendments to ban same-sex marriage in the US Constitution. Roy Moore is also another Bush Jr. era leftover crazy. Prior to Roy Moore being outed a rapist pedophile, Republicans seemed to be perfectly ok with supporting this piece of shit subhuman. Let’s take a look at some of the crazy batshit insane shit that Roy Moore said that should ban him from being elected dog caughter:

* Roy Moore in 2005: Homosexual “conduct” should be illegal
* Roy Moore in 2017: 9/11 was god’s judgement on America
* Roy Moore in 2005: Opposes repealing Jim Crow era segregationist amendments to the Alabama State Constitution
* Roy Moore on Barrack Obama: Obama was born in Kenyan, spreading the racist birther conspiracy theory
* Roy Moore in 2003: Removed from the Alabama Supreme Court for trying to keep up the 10 commandment statutes
* Roy Moore in 2016: Removed from the Alabama Supreme Court AGAIN for not enforcing same-sex marriage ruling
* Roy Moore in 2006: Keith Ellison shouldn’t be seated because he’s a Muslim
* Roy Moore doesn’t believe non-Christians are protected by the 1st amendment
* Roy Moore is a creationist and climate change denier
* Roy Moore is a Israeli apartheid supporter
* Roy Moore thinks DACA recipients should be deported
* Roy Moore has voted CONSITENTLY against rape victims and in favor of rapists
* Roy Moore casted the sole vote in favor of a man who raped a four-year-old

And that’s just the tip of the ice berg. So let me give you the short version, Roy Moore is a Nazi long before this pedo stuff broke and all these Republicans who endorsed him BEFORE the pedo story broke, but ceased to do so afterword’s are gigantic hypocrites.

And another thing that’s really hypocritical is Donald “Gram em by the pussy” Trump. I’ve seen two tweets from Donald Trump about Al Franken’s sexual misconduct, but none one tweet or one word about Roy Moore, or even his own past comments like “when you are a star they let you do it.” If it was a black person he would spend the next couple centuries tweeting and attacking them because Trump’s cracker racist to his core. Billy Bush, at the time an anchor for Access Hollywood, was fired for that tape, but if you a Republican presidential candidate you are punished by being elected president. What does that tell you about Republican voters and their views towards women? All these vermin who spent decades ranting about gays, or immorality, Bill Clinton being impeached over a blow job, banning sex toys, etc. And fast word to 2017 and the modern day Christian right can be summed up that they were just full of shit the whole time. And yet they will still pretend they are the party of GWAD!

GOP = Grand Old Pedophiles

What I Got- Reefercake Sublime Parody

Early in the morning
Rise to take a shit
Reading on my iphone
about The latest hypocrite
They say Russia is the reason
The Reason things went wrong
But is Russia also the reason?
why my money’s all gone?
House market inflation
The prices got so high
and when it crashed they bailed out the banks
I should have started a motherfucking riot THEN
[Break]
Well, our president sucks
but thats the one you got
Ima keep on fighting
to legalize pot
Don’t mean no static
just get it off my chest
Never had to battle with no
democrat socialist
Take a small example
Take a tip from me
gotta Take all of your money
use it all to grow weed
Reef is what I got
 It’s within my reach
And the Reefercake style’s
Still straight from OOB
Reefer comes back to you
You’ll get the you deserve
Try and test this bud
Your about to get served
Reef is what I got
And I smoke a whole lot
You’ll feel it when
the dance get’s hot
Reefer,
Is What i got
I said remember that
Reefer,
 Is What I got
 Now remember that
(That’s) why I don’t cry
When the democrats run away
I Don’t get angry
At the bills I have to pay
I don’t get angry
When my mom smokes pot
Hits the bottle
And goes right to the rock
Fuckin’ and fightin’, it’s all the same
Livin’ wit medicinal’s the only way to stay sane
Let the lovin’, let the lovin’ come back to me

Donnie Trump (Bobbie Brown by Zappa parody w studio guest Chris Lapakko)

Donnie Trump (Bobbie Brown parody w studio guest Chris Lapakko)

As played for Chris Lapakko live on All the Hypocrisy Podcast
C
Hey there people I'm Donny Trump
Am
Popping viagra getting ready to hump
Dm7
My airplane is fast, and I ain’t no wussy,
G
I kiss all the girls and grab them by the pussy

At the beauty pagents I'm acting cool
did I mention Wharton was my business school?
I got a russian whore who wants to make some paper
I'll give her first prize and maybe later I'll rape her
[Chorus]      F
   Oh God I am the american dream
     Em               Am
   President reality TO THE extreme
             Dm7               G
   And I’m A LYING SON OF A bitch 
   Gonna build  big wall and GET REAL rich
   (BUILD A big wall and get real rich)
[Verse 2]
Mike Pence was looking sexy in his business suit
And he said “for an old man, YOU’RE still kinda cute”
I got him doing my PRESIDENTIAL promo,
And none of the JOCKS can even tell I'm a homo
Eventually Mike became a close friend
Sort of drifted along into S&M
I can take about an hour on the tower of power
As long as I gets a little golden shower
[Chorus]
   Oh God, I am the american dream
   With a spindle up my butt 'till it makes me scream
   Cause I like it real dirty and bad
   I lay awake nights saying "Thank you, Vlad"
(Big bad vlad with your hand up my ass)
      F
   Oh God, oh God, I'm so fantastic
   Em                       Am
   The Russian whores know I'm a sexual spastic
          F             G
   And my name is Donny Trump,

   Watch me now, I'm getting ready to hump

When White People Riot…

Last week, two racially-charged murders saw to protests and unrest in Milwaukee.  A gas-station owner *stood his ground* and he shot and killed an unarmed black man in his gas-station.  A few days later, in the same locale, a police officer shot a man in the back. The police, as usual claimed, the man had a gun.

Since neither the gas station owner, nor the police officer faced any consequences, Black Lives Matter, protested Milwaukee. During the protest, some people set fire the gas station.  I call it vigilante justice. Some people called it hooliganism. They condemned the gas station and made over-arching generalizations about the thuggishness of those involved.   But, in the past few years, black people may have rioted over social justice.  I wanted to expose the hypocrisy of these folks who stood silent when the white thugs rioted over…

Spring Break
Orange men Parade
Hats
Sandwiches
50 Shades of Gray
Pumpkins
Darts

 

If you have any more ridiculous riots,please comment below and we will add it to this list.

 

 

 

Bay State Tea Bag

After last night’s election, we finally know what Scott Brown was hiding behind his hand… why a miniature State-of-Massachusetts, of course!

Congratulations, Massholes, for becoming the first state to actually elect a schweaty teabagger!  I know those squiggly lines above the cape look like waves, but they are actually the rippling folds of smelly ball sack.  And though the cape may be getting the worst of it, even the fine residents of Marblehead are affected, as they pick Scott Brown’s pubes from their teeth.

Fortunately, I live in Maryland, home of the great John Waters, and down here we all know the rules…

Et Tu Flute?

In the upcoming Massachusetts Senate election, Doug Flutie is looking to throw another Hail Mary.

I definitely support Scott Brown.  He would be an independent voice down in Washington.  He’s a great family man, a friend, and a guy I trust 100%.

Intriguing!  So who is this Republican candidate Scott Brown, and why does Flutie want to put a ball in his end zone?

Cosmo has the definitive profile

I think it’s safe to say he’s locked up the teabag vote…

because he clearly leans to the right…

and does not support a large stimulus package… (wow, the bad jokes write themselves!)

Hey, Scott, here’s a pro-tip from your friends at All The Hypocrisy: if you only need one hand to cover your junk, why bother?

* * * * *

Bonus Boston Football-Themed Homoerotica:

UPDATE:

Why am I not surprised

Christ, has Larry Bird weighed in yet?  What’s he waiting for?